Eternally 32

Today is Kristine's birthday. Thirty-three years ago that precious girl entered my life. Today should be a day of celebrating. Even though we may not have been able to be with her on her birthday every year, we always bombarded Facebook and Instagram with pictures of her, and texted or called and wished her a happy birthday. Stephen undoubtedly would have had something wonderful planned for her. They both always went above and beyond for each other to make birthdays special.

But today we aren't celebrating...we're remembering...and missing...and still so heartbroken.

When I remember the pain and suffering Kristine endured in the final months of her life, I'm grateful she's in heaven and whole again. When I remember everything but the pain and suffering from the melanoma that wreaked havoc on all of our lives, I'm angry and sad and devastated at losing her...and not just for myself...

for Stephen, her husband, who lost the love of his life, 

for Mike, her dad, who lost one of his precious daughters, 

for Dawn, her older sister, who basically lost her twin as close as they were,

for Becca, her younger sister, who lost someone she looked up to and admired,

for Matt, her little brother, who lost someone he could be goofy and nerdy with,

for everyone that loved her, and even the world. 

She was a special person who was doing real good in this evil world.

Matt texted me today saying, "We lost a sense of joy and happiness because she brought a fun side to everything we did." He's so right. All of our family's happiest moments include her...and now they won't. We are going to have to work hard to make more happy moments without her...and as sad as that makes me feel as I type this, I know it's the right thing to do. I know that I want my family to have happy times together after I'm gone, so I know that Kristine wants that for all of us. I just think I'll bring a bit of Kristine into every happy moment I can. 

So happy birthday to my sweet Kristine...today she would have turned 33, but instead...

today she is eternally beautiful

today she is eternally healthy

today she is eternally 32.